We moved into our townhouse about a year ago and things have been piling up in the garage. The garage is where I go to get away. Have the garage door up a couple feet of the ground, aim a fan at the fire detector and light up a cigar.
But today I decided to do something useful. The garage is a mess. Empty boxes all over the place, tons of cobwebs, overflowing ashtray. So, I’m moving stuff around, picking things up. The wife decides that she needs to go to Target to buy some household junk. Her car is in the garage, mine is in the driveway. I hear her close the door and she drives away.
Its an hour later. I’m thirsty. Go up to the door to the house. Turn. Locked. Crap. Check my pockets to see if I have my cell phone. Nope. Argh. Oh well, I got my laptop with wifi and a DVD of American Dad. I can amuse myself till the wife comes home.
Almost done with 5 episodes. Gotta pee. Really bad. Don’t want to ask the neighbors to use their bathroom, thats just embarrassing. Oh man, there are some empty Pellegrino bottles lying around. Is the top of those bottles wide enough so there is absolutely no potential for spillage?!? Oh Christ. What about the Dasani bottles? Oh boy.
Wait. T-Mobile lets you send SMS messages from their site. Awesome.
“Woman, you locked me out of my own house. And I have to pee. Now.”
By the time Stan and Hayley had made up by the end of the DVD, the wife is home.
Disaster averted. Wifey is going to have to make it up to me for this.